Dear Girls let’s talk Emotional Abuse

For the longest time I’ve seen women do it all in the name of love. But is love really worth the heartbreak, the emotional trauma, broken self esteem and is all this pain you call love even Love? Since young age we’ve been in love with the idea of having our own prince charming with his white horse. This perfect gentleman who’s gonna rescue you. He is this ideally perfect man who’s gonna love you, is very handsome, he has this way about him that make it seem like he has it all. But this Prince charming is a facade but us women all over the world love this facade and fall for it every single time. And do you know who uses the Prince Charming Trap the players. These men know exactly how to trap you into believing that they are the prince charming to your Cinderella. But is he really a prince or is he a villan in disguise? Don’t fall for the fairy tale. Don’t be the girl with the Cinderella complex.

You won’t know an emotional abuser right from the start. They lure you in this false sense of security then they isolate you. Then they start the abuse. Digging into each and every little insecurity you have, making you feel less, insecure, unloved and pretty much emotionally violated by a person you trusted. Most of the time girls are so much in love they don’t leave they stay until this relationship has chipped away each and everything they have leaving them a broken hollow mess. ‘But he doesn’t hit me how can I leave him‘. And this thought right here my girls is where you go wrong. Abuse doesn’t always have to be violent. Emotional abuse is abuse too and you’ve every right in the world to remove yourself from a relationship that hurts you. Don’t let that player tell you otherwise. These players are predators they get to know you, peek into your insecurities, your deep dark secrets. A player can tell if a girl has low confidence and most often than not they prey on these insecurities. He plays you entirely to his own benefit. He is an emotional predator and he enjoys seeing others in pain. It gives him this sense of power and entitlement.

Don’t trust the handsome persona even horror books come in attractive packaging.

Signs that he is an emotional predator

1. He manipulates you and makes you feel guilty.

2. He takes charge of every aspect of your life. Your clothes , hair, makeup, every thing.

3. You don’t have friends who aren’t his friends or someone he introduced you to.

4. He isolates you from people.

5. He blackmails you emotionally to prevent you from leaving him.

6. He acts entitled to you as if you are his property. Someone he owns and can do whatever the hell he wants with.

7. You’ve no say in the decisions whatever he says go.

8. He makes you feel inferior. Makes you doubt yourself. Destroys your self esteem. And chips away at your self respect.

9. Your whole identity is this relationship without it you feel as if you would have nothing.

10. When you question his behaviour he says, ”you’re tripping” “you’re crazy” “you’re thinking too much” ” I don’t even do that” .

11. He deflects everything and blames it on you.

12. He doesn’t let you hangout with your friends. He’s everywhere with you when you go out. Your idea of going out always involves him.

13. You’ve no ‘me time’ you spend all your time catering to his whims and whishes.

Girl even if half of these things check you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship. Chances are you might not even know it. Don’t ignore the red flags. Baby girl if your relationship is your whole identity when he leaves so does your Identity. Your first priority should always be yourself. Date yourself first. Put yourself first. Chose yourself always. Have your own interests , hobbies, goals, friends. Take time out just for yourself that involve just yourself and nobody else . Not your boyfriend, your friends just yourself. Don’t isolate yourself while being in a relationship cause chances are your real friends spot a snake before you do. Go out more. Hang out with people who are not your partner. Have fun with your friends . Realize that you don’t need him to have fun you can have fun with your friends too. Be your own person. Don’t ignore the red flags. Cause honey they are there for a reason. Have a group of friends who are just your friends. Not his friends or someone introduced by him. Cause remember isolation is done in many ways cause chances are if all you have is him when you try to leave he’s gonna say “where are you gonna go” cause he knows exactly how isolated you are. And honey you need friends cause your girl friends come through. Have your own identity. Your own career . Your own goals. Your own life. So that even if you remove him from your life the only thing missing from your life would be a person who is replaceable. Cause honey you don’t need a snake in your life. You don’t need negativity and red flags and low self esteem and insecurities. What you need is something real and you do that by being a confident , self loving boss bitch who has her shit together. You might not have it all together now but start your self love journey and you’ll see yourself truly as the wonder you are and you’ll cut such relationships cause you know you deserve better.

A healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down. It inspires you to be better.

Don’t let your loyalty become slavery. If they don’t appreciate what you bring to the table, then let them eat alone.